Wednesday, October 29, 2003
SCOTT M. PECK, M.D.
Author of the The Road Less Traveled (C.1978)wrote:
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
Could this really be true? As the year wears on I find myself working later and I am more spent at close of the day. Yesterday morning, I slept through my alarm. I don't know how I did it. Usually I set one alarm for 5:00 am and the other for 5:15. Although I press snooze a couple of times, I am usually off to work by 6:30 am. But not yesterday. I had to call in to work "sick" because I was too ashamed to admit what I know to be true: I am running myself into the ground.
How did this happen? And what does it all have to do with the quote at the top of my blog?
My current situation (that is, running myself into the ground) parallels a situation that the famous (infamous) Dr. Peck illustrated in his book. The story goes that when he first began his practice, he found himself scheduling several patients a day, and then staying late to file paperwork, update his records, and other menial clerical duties. At 5:00 pm each day, he would see his colleagues pack their briefcases, close up shop and head home. Irritated, he grumbled to himself, which later led to complaints directed to his supervisor. Why were others leaving early? Didn't they have any work ethic? Why was he working so hard and others were free to leave unfinished work on their desks? Was he the only one that understood the concept of working until the job was done- and that to perfection?
His supervisor calmly reminded Dr. Peck that he was the one CHOOSING to stay until past 5 pm. The man was in charge of his schedule yet insisted on losing out on a social/family life and personal time. He was a slave to his career.
And this is how I feel. I wake up in the mornings feeling like I had no sleep at all (I'm a bit of an insomniac). I go to work, teach on my feet all day, have helps sessions after work, then grade papers, plan lessons, research subjects until 7 or 8 pm at night!!! Wistfully, I watch my colleagues leave for home with no bundle of papers to grade, and faces that register no stress or worry. How can this be?
Maybe a better question is: how can I break free from the chains of piles of homework? True, I don't always grade everything, I just check simple worksheets and pop quizzes to be sure the students grasp the concepts. I still feel guilty when I throw them in the trash (yes, teachers do that). And there is no end to the parents who intimate that we should have more writing in the classroom. There is the mom that consistently calls me to ask what we are doing in English and when will there be more writing so her "very brilliant" *rollling eyes* daughter can perfect her more than already brilliant writing skills? *rolling eyes again*? I feel like I'm being micromanaged by my administrators and the parents. I also feel like the mound of papers on my desk is going to rise up in protest one day and swallow me whole.
I wish it would.
I'm doing the best I can, but it's not good enough. So I stay late. I promise myself I will not leave this classroom until I have graded this, that, and the other. I make progress with grading on most days, but then I am too tired to make excellent lesson plans. Since I thrive on perfection when it comes to teaching and planning, the whole thing becomes one viscious cycle. Can perfection, excellence, deadlines, my social life, rest, and quality teaching coexist in this world of papers, red pens, moral and character development, and ceaseless faculty meetings?
The Department of Education has decreed that there be "no child left behind." Does this mean that my social life, well-being, and sanity be left behind in lieu of said child?
Here it is lunch time, and I'm grading 12-14 speech notebooks. I must complete them before speech class at 2 pm. They were to be finished last week so I could assign a new speech. Aggh! How do I juggle it all?
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
I want to value myself. I deserve rest. I deserve a weekend out on the town with my friends. I do not need to work all day Mon-Fri and then work on Saturday and Sunday. This is ludicrous. Do I value my mental health? Do I value my friends and family? Do I value leisure time? Do I value excercise and good eating habits? Clearly not as much as I should. I must value my time by valuing myself first.
Today begins a new day.
Author of the The Road Less Traveled (C.1978)wrote:
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
Could this really be true? As the year wears on I find myself working later and I am more spent at close of the day. Yesterday morning, I slept through my alarm. I don't know how I did it. Usually I set one alarm for 5:00 am and the other for 5:15. Although I press snooze a couple of times, I am usually off to work by 6:30 am. But not yesterday. I had to call in to work "sick" because I was too ashamed to admit what I know to be true: I am running myself into the ground.
How did this happen? And what does it all have to do with the quote at the top of my blog?
My current situation (that is, running myself into the ground) parallels a situation that the famous (infamous) Dr. Peck illustrated in his book. The story goes that when he first began his practice, he found himself scheduling several patients a day, and then staying late to file paperwork, update his records, and other menial clerical duties. At 5:00 pm each day, he would see his colleagues pack their briefcases, close up shop and head home. Irritated, he grumbled to himself, which later led to complaints directed to his supervisor. Why were others leaving early? Didn't they have any work ethic? Why was he working so hard and others were free to leave unfinished work on their desks? Was he the only one that understood the concept of working until the job was done- and that to perfection?
His supervisor calmly reminded Dr. Peck that he was the one CHOOSING to stay until past 5 pm. The man was in charge of his schedule yet insisted on losing out on a social/family life and personal time. He was a slave to his career.
And this is how I feel. I wake up in the mornings feeling like I had no sleep at all (I'm a bit of an insomniac). I go to work, teach on my feet all day, have helps sessions after work, then grade papers, plan lessons, research subjects until 7 or 8 pm at night!!! Wistfully, I watch my colleagues leave for home with no bundle of papers to grade, and faces that register no stress or worry. How can this be?
Maybe a better question is: how can I break free from the chains of piles of homework? True, I don't always grade everything, I just check simple worksheets and pop quizzes to be sure the students grasp the concepts. I still feel guilty when I throw them in the trash (yes, teachers do that). And there is no end to the parents who intimate that we should have more writing in the classroom. There is the mom that consistently calls me to ask what we are doing in English and when will there be more writing so her "very brilliant" *rollling eyes* daughter can perfect her more than already brilliant writing skills? *rolling eyes again*? I feel like I'm being micromanaged by my administrators and the parents. I also feel like the mound of papers on my desk is going to rise up in protest one day and swallow me whole.
I wish it would.
I'm doing the best I can, but it's not good enough. So I stay late. I promise myself I will not leave this classroom until I have graded this, that, and the other. I make progress with grading on most days, but then I am too tired to make excellent lesson plans. Since I thrive on perfection when it comes to teaching and planning, the whole thing becomes one viscious cycle. Can perfection, excellence, deadlines, my social life, rest, and quality teaching coexist in this world of papers, red pens, moral and character development, and ceaseless faculty meetings?
The Department of Education has decreed that there be "no child left behind." Does this mean that my social life, well-being, and sanity be left behind in lieu of said child?
Here it is lunch time, and I'm grading 12-14 speech notebooks. I must complete them before speech class at 2 pm. They were to be finished last week so I could assign a new speech. Aggh! How do I juggle it all?
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time.
Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
I want to value myself. I deserve rest. I deserve a weekend out on the town with my friends. I do not need to work all day Mon-Fri and then work on Saturday and Sunday. This is ludicrous. Do I value my mental health? Do I value my friends and family? Do I value leisure time? Do I value excercise and good eating habits? Clearly not as much as I should. I must value my time by valuing myself first.
Today begins a new day.
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