Monday, October 06, 2003
PATRICK
If I could, I would DRINK Patrick’s bath water.
That, in a nutshell, speaks volumes about how I feel about this man. You know that feeling you get when you accidentally wake up early on Saturday morning, thinking you’re late for work, but soon realize “Whee! It’s Saturday!” and you dive back under the covers for a second helping of REM? That’s what being around Patrick feels like- comfortable, and relaxing. Patrick is yummy in every way- like that sheet of warm, gooey, double chocolate chip homemade cookies that’s baking in your oven on a Saturday night just before you slip into your jammies and watch a feel-good movie. Patrick is subtle inspiration. He’s like dawn and dusk- those few hours of our lives when day and night are juxtaposed in a delightful yet enigmatic way. Patrick is aesthetically pleasing- I think I could look at his face, his body (sigh), and listen to his voice for the rest of my life- endlessly, and effortlessly.
I first met Patrick when he was just a freshman in the Great Wide World of Dentistry. I still remember our first mesmerizing discourse- a healthy volley of humble opinions and Socratic questions centered around a book we had both (coincidentally) just read. He held my attention, he got me thinking; he made me laugh. I left the conversation respecting him, curious about him... wanting him.
Unfortunately, as these things go, my attention that summer was required elsewhere. Another young man had lured me away from all that was good and wholesome in life (see " Patrick") and, because I was stupid and didn’t see all his flirtatious signs or catch all his vibes, the potential between Patrick and I remained dormant, and never came to fruition.
If my life or that summer were to be featured in a “Where Are They Now?” special, you would see Patrick as he is today- a certified dentist with a successful practice in Missouri, and you would see me- a certified teacher in Arizona. Neither of us discontent with our station in life- but ready and open to the next stage of life. You would see that Patrick and I have minimally stayed in touch. Somewhere toward the middle of the program, the musical score would turn into ominous minor chords, and you would learn of a phone call that occurred just a few weeks ago, in which Patrick-the-Dentist and I-the Teacher confessed sheepishly that we had both had mutual crushes on each other in the summer of ‘97. On that same episode, you may also see a reenacted clip of the silence that enveloped the conversation when that bit of juicy information was proffered, and you would see the chagrin manifest on our faces.
What can I now insert here about love that seems to bud and blossom out of season? What words can I logically arrange to convey the sense of loss I felt when I learned this information too late? Subsequent conversations, needless to say, have not revealed any further feelings on his part- and I'm not about to go down the well beaten path of unrequited love with which I am so familiar. In short, we’re too far away from each other to say that we could (once again) be interested in one another wholly. I suppose I have to be content to know that once upon a time, the chance was there: a delicious-piece-of-man-candy-on-a-stick (see "Patrick") was ready and willing for me to devour him with my affection and attention, but I chose instant gratification and forfeited my opportunity.
Since we last revealed this secret to each other, I have spent many an hour imagining what I would do if I could have that summer to live over again. I think the most important thing is I would turn my flirting skills up several notches- say, from “mild” to “El Scorcho”**** or “Muy Caliente.” I would be more aggressive about telling him that I am interested. I would reach out and touch him more, and not shyly keep my hands to myself like I am often prone to do when I’m around the object of my affection. I wouldn’t doubt myself so much. I wouldn’t allow myself to doubt (as I often do) that someone of his caliber, of his looks, of his potential, of his intellectual prowess could ever be interested in one like me.
****Term shamelessly stolen from Del Taco
If I could, I would DRINK Patrick’s bath water.
That, in a nutshell, speaks volumes about how I feel about this man. You know that feeling you get when you accidentally wake up early on Saturday morning, thinking you’re late for work, but soon realize “Whee! It’s Saturday!” and you dive back under the covers for a second helping of REM? That’s what being around Patrick feels like- comfortable, and relaxing. Patrick is yummy in every way- like that sheet of warm, gooey, double chocolate chip homemade cookies that’s baking in your oven on a Saturday night just before you slip into your jammies and watch a feel-good movie. Patrick is subtle inspiration. He’s like dawn and dusk- those few hours of our lives when day and night are juxtaposed in a delightful yet enigmatic way. Patrick is aesthetically pleasing- I think I could look at his face, his body (sigh), and listen to his voice for the rest of my life- endlessly, and effortlessly.
I first met Patrick when he was just a freshman in the Great Wide World of Dentistry. I still remember our first mesmerizing discourse- a healthy volley of humble opinions and Socratic questions centered around a book we had both (coincidentally) just read. He held my attention, he got me thinking; he made me laugh. I left the conversation respecting him, curious about him... wanting him.
Unfortunately, as these things go, my attention that summer was required elsewhere. Another young man had lured me away from all that was good and wholesome in life (see " Patrick") and, because I was stupid and didn’t see all his flirtatious signs or catch all his vibes, the potential between Patrick and I remained dormant, and never came to fruition.
If my life or that summer were to be featured in a “Where Are They Now?” special, you would see Patrick as he is today- a certified dentist with a successful practice in Missouri, and you would see me- a certified teacher in Arizona. Neither of us discontent with our station in life- but ready and open to the next stage of life. You would see that Patrick and I have minimally stayed in touch. Somewhere toward the middle of the program, the musical score would turn into ominous minor chords, and you would learn of a phone call that occurred just a few weeks ago, in which Patrick-the-Dentist and I-the Teacher confessed sheepishly that we had both had mutual crushes on each other in the summer of ‘97. On that same episode, you may also see a reenacted clip of the silence that enveloped the conversation when that bit of juicy information was proffered, and you would see the chagrin manifest on our faces.
What can I now insert here about love that seems to bud and blossom out of season? What words can I logically arrange to convey the sense of loss I felt when I learned this information too late? Subsequent conversations, needless to say, have not revealed any further feelings on his part- and I'm not about to go down the well beaten path of unrequited love with which I am so familiar. In short, we’re too far away from each other to say that we could (once again) be interested in one another wholly. I suppose I have to be content to know that once upon a time, the chance was there: a delicious-piece-of-man-candy-on-a-stick (see "Patrick") was ready and willing for me to devour him with my affection and attention, but I chose instant gratification and forfeited my opportunity.
Since we last revealed this secret to each other, I have spent many an hour imagining what I would do if I could have that summer to live over again. I think the most important thing is I would turn my flirting skills up several notches- say, from “mild” to “El Scorcho”**** or “Muy Caliente.” I would be more aggressive about telling him that I am interested. I would reach out and touch him more, and not shyly keep my hands to myself like I am often prone to do when I’m around the object of my affection. I wouldn’t doubt myself so much. I wouldn’t allow myself to doubt (as I often do) that someone of his caliber, of his looks, of his potential, of his intellectual prowess could ever be interested in one like me.
****Term shamelessly stolen from Del Taco
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