GraduateGirl

CHRISTMAS!?- I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION!*

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You truly cannot fathom
How I despise and reject thee
In diabolical fashion.

You make me sick beyond belief
Where can I run? There’s no relief
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You make me feel despondent.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You know I hate this holiday
We celebrate our Lord and Christ
And sing him Happy Birthday…

We sing of peace the whole day long
But flock the malls in shameless throngs
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You make me want to vomit.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
You’ve completely lost your meaning
Hedonism has become your theme-
It is the “reason for the season”

That portly Santa hugs the kids
While fondling and caressing them
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
Donate your boughs to beat him...

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
How dare you be so unctuous
You promise things that can never be
You represent false notions

And though this song may shock and shame
I care naught – you protest in vain
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree
I’m off to slice my wrists with rusty razor blades.

(The last line doesn’t rhyme, I know…leave me alone.)
*Monty Python Reference