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Friday, January 06, 2006

OHIO 

Every so often the stars align and the powers of this universe deem me worthy of a small treat. Such was the case shortly after I wrote my last post: Mr.S actually asked me out on a date again, which caused a delightful turn of events in my life. We began to reconnect in what I can only describe as a painfully candid but surprisingly refreshing way. He broke down a lot of walls that he had put up to safeguard his heart, and I was able to finally convey how deeply this action had hurt us both. It was difficult to hear him confess of all the times he deliberately sabotaged the relationship only because (his words)things were going so well they scared him. I began to wonder if I wanted a man in my life who couldn't recognize a good thing. There was nothing wrong with the relationship until he viewed it as "too perfect."

Men.

Nevertheless, the culmination of our reconnection was an invitation to go home with him for a very white Christmas-- to meet (gulp) the family. I believe his exact words were: "It's time." I can't quite tell you how many revolutions my heart did within the confines of this body, but I can tell you there was a powerful feeling of vertigo.

Frantic phone calls and ticket purchases were made and within 24 hours I had a plane ticket to and from Dayton, Ohio. Looking back, I personally cannot think of one thing that could have gone wrong this Christmas. From the plane ride to meeting the fam, to the bland white covered scenery that is Dayton, Ohio, I loved every moment of it. I even (gasp) began to find my way back to liking Christmas again.
Finally, I got to see the place where my Mr. S grew up and put a visual location to the coming of age stories I have heard him tell many times- the bowling alley behind which he did very naughty things with a young lady in junior high; the woods where he would ride his motorcycle to meet his friends and walk his dog; the junior high and high school where he took his football and baseball teams to glory as team captain; the scene of an accident where he almost lost his life... there was too much to see and not enough time.

I loved his family and I was sad to leave. I think they loved me right back- if his mother's note to me was anything to go by. Who has ever heard of a thank you note for a thank you note? I have- she sent it. In her own handwriting, filling the card with a tender, heartfelt invitation to "come and visit any time I like." The note made me feel...triumphant, like I had won a prize. But that's how I feel simply being around Mr. S, anyway- so it's natural that I would feel that way about his family.

We had both been so worried- what didn't we worry about? I worried about where would we sleep: on one hand, I thought it would be hot to sleep in his old bedroom, preferably in his old bed. On the other hand, I thought his mother might have a problem with us sleeping in the same room, not being married and all (there was actually no need to worry after all). I worried about saying the right thing at the right time (Mr. S had told me his parents can be critical and hard to befriend.) I worried that his sister wouldn't like me- we were actually more alike than we may have imagined. Talking to her kids was a snap: since I teach teenagers it was easy to get them out of their shells (they're pretty quiet). But the thing we worried about the most was the color issue. Being an interracial couple is tricky in Ohio, I am told. Thus his hesitation to invite me sooner. I guess he needed time to visualize it all, and time to tell his family about...me. He has done a great job, for someone so timid. He'd told his family bits and pieces about me, until finally they saw a picture last Christmas and then met me in person at this holiday.

It's funny how you can get an idea in your head that is a fleeting thought, which turns into an obsessive part of your belief system. This whole time I thought he had been reluctant to tell his family about me because of the color issue. When we got home and debriefed over a lazy morning breakfast, he told me had been worried about introducing me to the family because he didn't want them to get his hopes up- in case we didn't stay together.

I'll let you interpret that comment. I know how I received it and I'm going to stick to it. :)

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